- How else could the children have solved the problem of the missing stars?
Brainstorm other ways to get the stars back from the patupaiarehe, then choose the
best solution.
best solution.
Use their two torches to trick the patupaiarehe that sunlight was coming
- Rewrite that section of the story using your new solution. Don’t forget to edit the
story afterward.
Get some feedback (positive, thoughtful, helpful) from someone in your bubble and
then write out a good copy of your own ending.
then write out a good copy of your own ending.
“Look!” exclaimed Sam to the others “there’s that naughty patupaiarehe with the
missing Matariki stars.”
missing Matariki stars.”
“How are we going to get them back where they belong?” said grandma.
“Let’s whack them with the gaff” joked Sam.
“I’d like to whack them with the gaff for stealing, but that wouldn’t get the Matariki
stars back,” said grandma. “The patupaiarehe are vulnerable to sunlight, but
waiting or distracting them would take time.”
stars back,” said grandma. “The patupaiarehe are vulnerable to sunlight, but
waiting or distracting them would take time.”
“Could we use the torches?” suggested Te Rerehua.
“Great idea Te Rerehua” whispered grandma.
The two children crept down the beach by the water’s edge and shone the
flash lights at the patupaiarehe”s direction. “Ahhh the sunlight!” the patupaiarehe
cried and ran to the hills.
flash lights at the patupaiarehe”s direction. “Ahhh the sunlight!” the patupaiarehe
cried and ran to the hills.
“Grandma, Koro” called Te Rerehua to her grandparents.
“We tricked them!” said Sam.
“But how will get them back up?” said Te Rerehua.
“Koro knows,” grandma said as Koro swung his gaff into the air with a star on it.
Soon both stars had returned to their place up in the sky, and Matariki was
complete again.
Soon both stars had returned to their place up in the sky, and Matariki was
complete again.
The End
Wow Harry, what a great idea to use the torches like the sun, I don't think anyone else has thought of doing that! I also really like how you have used your punctuation to show someone is talking. To make your blog post BTB you could add a caption to explain what the story is about as I don't know if everyone will know.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great mahi!
Thank you i will try to get a quality caption.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great re-write of the story, Harry. I really enjoyed helping you get started. I loved your descriptive writing and vocabulary. I know it's sometimes a bit boring doing the proof-reading afterwards, so I'm really pleased you persevered with this. Awesome work, Harry. Mum x
ReplyDelete